I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
