finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
