Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
