People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
