I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize