my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
