o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
