First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
