Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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