Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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