Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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