that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
