Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Randomize
