I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
