Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
