so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
