Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
How naked do you want me to be?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
