Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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