I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
