Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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