I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
