Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize