Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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