Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Reggie can tackle my bush.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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