A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I need help removing her.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
