I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
