West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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