I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
