I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I can text with my tongue
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
