My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
