did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize