my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
