Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
