If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
