she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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