im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
