If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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