Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
