Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
there was a trapeze. enough said
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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