the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
