I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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