Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
