i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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