He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
