Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
