as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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