Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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