Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
