So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
