There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
You're breaking my sexual little heart
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
