Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
