Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Randomize
