I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize