Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
