my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
