Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
