i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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