No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
