I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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