i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
We had to coat check the pizza.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
