You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
