It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
