plz talk dirty to me
Your face is a jimmy john
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize