I wanna bring you to show and tell
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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