I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
