I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
