Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
