The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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