Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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