Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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