Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
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