Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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