I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
