Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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